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This is a season of three lists. We go
from the Thanksgiving menu list to
the often overwhelming Christmas
gift list to the New Year’s resolution
list…three big “to do” lists all within
thirty days. I’d like to focus on the
last of the three, the New Year’s
Resolution list…why? Perhaps
because historically I have been so
unsuccessful in making this one work.
I usually do pretty well at pulling off
Thanksgiving, and typically don’t
miss much on the Christmas list,
but rarely if ever have I successfully
accomplished my resolutions. I don’t
think I’m alone…
What’s up with this? Why is this
list so onerous and typically
unattainable? I’d like to suggest an
answer. The reason our resolutions
to change are so unattainable is
because the approach is
fundamentally flawed. So here’s
my idea. Let me say it simply:
change happens not through
doing but by receiving.
I’m guessing you’ve never heard this
or thought this…I know I hadn’t.
But, as I have stumbled on this
truth I’ve come to believe its
veracity more and more.
I really do believe that change
happens not so much through doing
but by getting better and better at
receiving. What do I mean? Well, let’s
look at an example…and I’ll take one
rather close to home. How about,
“I want to get healthier and give
myself a chance to live a longer
more satisfying life.” (How’s that for
a middle-aged man’s New Year’s
resolution?) Predictable, right? So
how do we typically approach such
a goal? I make a list–call it a New
Year’s resolution list–but by another
name it’s a change list. Here are a few
things I’d like to see different in my
life. I set the goal and then set the
specific objectives. By way of
example: 1. eat less food, 2. eat better
foods, 3. exercise more. With my plan
in hand I set my resolve. This coming
year I’m going to 1. eat less food,
2. eat better foods and 3. exercise
more. I plunge in. Statistically forty to
forty-five percent of us make some
type of resolution like this. Also statistically, the vast
majority of us have
given up on our
resolutions by the
third week in
January. So what’s
the deal?
Let me return to
my idea: Change
happens not
through doing but
by receiving. I tried
to make change
happen first of all
by making a list of
things that I was
going to do. What’s
the problem here?
Seems logical doesn’t it? Well, I’d
suggest that the problem is not so
much in recognizing that there’s a
needed change and setting a goal to
accomplish it but that we haven’t
really come to receive what we need
to accomplish the change we need. |
Let’s look at Mary…yes, partially
because she’s so central in our
Christian story but also because she
seemed to get this so right. She
knew that to see things happen she
needed to receive. Remember the
story of the annunciation? The angel
Gabriel appeared to her and said,
“Do not be afraid, Mary, you have
found favor with God. You will be
with child and give birth to a son, and
you are to give him the name Jesus.”
(Luke 1: 30) Do you remember what
her response was? I’m guessing, but
I think if she was a 21st century
American she’d have gone away
from that encounter and created a
list: 1. get pregnant; 2. figure out how
to tell the folks; 3. tell Joseph and
convince him I’m not lying. Well, if
Mary had approached it this way
she wouldn’t have even made it to
week three.
Instead, Mary’s response was“may it
be to me as you have said.” (Luke
1:38) In theological circles this is
referred to as Mary’s “fiat”. Fiat is a
Latin word which means “let it be
done…” Translated very succinctly, it would be “have your
way” or simply “yes.”
So, when posed with
the monumental task
of carrying and
birthing the Son of
God, Mary’s response,
in the end, was a
simple “yes.” And with
the “yes” to God she
received all that was
needed to accomplish
God’s purposes.
What can we learn
from Mary? First and
foremost, she was
open to receiving
from God himself. No caveats,
conditions or anything else, a quick
and a simple yes. When posed with a
task or tasks, look for the way in
which you can receive what is
needed in order to accomplish what
is before you.
So coming full circle, what about
my desire to get healthier and give
myself a chance to live a longer
more satisfying life? Instead of
approaching my “to do list” first, it
would be much wiser to begin by
opening my life to the source of life,
Christ Jesus himself. Open myself
to receive from Him in a deep and
sustained way. Receive from Him.
About eight months ago I set out to
receive from God, to open myself
more fully to Him. The amazing thing
I found as I set out to receive was
that my desire for health was being
realized. I began to eat better and to
be more active…it came as I was
open to receive. I trust as this season
of Advent unfolds before us that you
will find space within you to ponder
these things deep in your heart.
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Christmas is always a new beginning.
Really, it is. The thought feels
confusing because it occurs near the
end of the year and the celebration
of January 1st seems like the
beginning. What plants in our hearts
at Christmas rarely has time to take
root before party hats, noise makers
and watching the ball drop take over.
Like weeds. That is when we think
our changing is supposed to begin?
In reality, the coming of Jesus, and
the annual celebration of it,
powerfully breathes new life and
possibilities into our souls. When we
let it. Anticipation of the birth of
Jesus held the attention of those
who eagerly waited for Him.
Currently, many faith traditions
highlight advent season in honor of
how it powerfully changes us. Even
so, it seems that our hearts strive to
‘get through the holidays’ and get on
with a new year. It is as if we believe
a new year has some kind of power
to transform us into humans who
can honor self made resolutions.
What we overlook is that advent
season, in actuality, provides more
clues to the path toward real change
because it points to the greatest
prize. Our Vital Source, if you will.
Not a vital accomplishment.
Receiving, being. Not striving, doing.
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Christmas expectations are
disappointments waiting to happen,
especially if our focus is not on
receiving the gifts Jesus brought
with Him. He alone is perfect. We
cannot make a human facsimile of
perfection a measure for our
holidays. Seasonal busy-ness
intensifies the distraction from
Jesus. Culture, our own internalized
messages about what the holidays
are supposed to be, and influence
from others drive us away from
sitting with the precious babe in
the manger and contemplating the
Gift of who He is.
Too often, we concentrate on the
‘doing’ without ‘being’ in a place to
receive the gifts God wants for us
to have from Him. New beginnings
are gifts, even if they are gifts we
keep opening. Celebrating Christmas
after Christmas reminds us that
there is always room for our new
beginnings. They are sweeter and
more satisfying when we take the
time to receive the Gift. |
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